Ever since 2011 started animals have been dying, en masse, all over the place. We’ve been told it’s fairly common and all the commotion is media hype, but that doesn’t really sit right. I mean, first it was 1,000 birds in Arkansas, then the fish started dying, then more birds and now crabs. Now, I’m not saying this is some kind of biblical end of days kind of thing, although I might have already, but it’s a cause for concern I think, no?

There’s a song by The Police called “Canary In a Coalmine” and it’s kind of about the idea that this person is a little, say, over cautious.

First to fall over when the atmosphere is less than perfect
Your sensibilities are shaken by the slightest defect
You live you life like a canary in a coalmine
You get so dizzy even walking in a straight line

It’s a great song, and one of the things I love most about it is that the person it’s about is pretty ambiguous. It’s not an obvious jab at a girl that won’t let Sting make out with her, or some other kind of “stop being square” accusation. It’s a pretty gender neutral song that’s just saying “stop being so timid, live more.”

Of course, the thing about a Canary in a Coalmine, as the saying goes, is that they live short, but meaningful lives. They’re the first signs of danger, which I think is something we can acknowledge – without getting too far into conspiracy theories – could be scaled upwards. Animals with more delicate respiratory systems, animals like birds and fish, will be affected by upcoming dangers before more complicated animals like say … mammals.

Even a pretty incredible video like this, of a swarm of birds above the Eaton’s Centre in Toronto, is uncomfortably eerie. If it weren’t for the morbid news of that past week it would be beautiful, but the movements feel anxious and desperate now. Like they’re being closed in.

I know! Like a swarm of fucking locusts! All I’m saying is, even as a non-believer, I still kind of hope this is the end of days. Could you imagine? It’s it’s all true?! And really, is bird dropping from the sky in enormous numbers and fish floating to the surface by the millions not something you’d expect to read in the bible? I just want to know what happens next. When the mammals start dying, I’m going to church.

Update #1 01/07/11 10:30am: Behold, a google map to help keep track of the carnage:

View Mass Animal Deaths in a larger map

Update #2 01/07/11 3:06pm:So science blogger and pretty smart lady Maggie Koerth-Baker isn’t buying any of it, and you know what? she’s probably right. I trust her sensibilities more than my own. There is no birdpocaypse, just some dead birds, and there will probably be more which we may or may not hear about.